McDonald’s Is Home

There is nothing more ubiquitous in the world like McDonald’s. It’s everywhere, it’s everyone’s favourite, and it’s amazing. It may be scoffed upon by “foodists” but I don’t care. McDonald’s is a refuge from all things strange and unwelcome.

Why the sudden love for McDonald’s today, you ask?

Well, I was supposed to post an article about my assessment style but it didn’t feel right. I was preparing to leave this house tonight, cleaning the fridge and whatnot when my boyfriend woke up and I took advantage of it by spending some quality time with him before he got back to sleep. I missed him yesterday. I have this thing where I just have to speak with him daily or else I feel bad, like I didn’t do my duty; I missed out on fun kinda thing. I genuinely miss him, and it’s hard with time zones, especially if you’re both tired from a grueling work week. You may say that it’s too much, the daily dose of him, but it works for us, and that’s how it is.

Anyway, I was lying in bed waking up from a nap and thought how lucky I was to have been served breakfast in bed two years ago, by him. Or how we would have breakfast in the Malaysian border when we went for visa runs. All of them having Egg McMuffins. Or how we would have lunch at the mall over Fillet-O-Fish.  I keep imagining how it would be like when we are together, how we have so many memories together.

There is a McDonald’s here in this neighborhood and if Ash were here I’m pretty sure where we will go during our midnight cravings. I never went once. It kinda feels sacrilegious to go there without him.

But that’s it. I think. You never really go to McDonald’s because you want food, especially delicious food. You go there because it’s convenient and it is home, meaning, it’s familiar and you have had lots of memories in it. It is actually a place where you make memories – from your high school saving up your allowance to buy a CD dinner stops, to medschool McDonald’s midnight cramming, to romantic breakfasts with the love of your life, that fastfood is always there.

It’s always close to you, it’s always fresh, it’s always clean, and it’s always cheap; You go from Naga, Manila, Bangkok to Hatyai, Malaysia to Indonesia, it’s all the same. Like an airport, McDonald’s is a neutral ground. You almost have your own McDonald’s decorum that is different from the rest of the shops (if you’re traveling abroad, you might catch yourself letting your guard down in McD’s). I know it doesn’t, but I can almost say it looks after you.

I like how globalisation works like this: in a way that the world gets really tiny, that my McD’s can be your McD’s. We all have that middle ground and it’s not pretentious at all: just solid, usual, fastfood grub.

I am going back home to the Philippines in a few hours, and trust me, I think I’ll find myself in a McDonald’s later. I am not excited about it, to be honest. I want my man to be with me more than ever but hey, what I’m doing is for us anyway. However, someday, I wish that we will continue our McD’s ritual. It’s fun, down-to-earth and yeah, feels like home.

Kicking Homesickness by Going Places: Koh Chang

*Featured Image and editing courtesy of Ashley Andrews, (c) 2014 :)) thank you! Xxxxx

When you’re an expat, it’s almost inevitable for you to feel homesick, or even worse, homeless at times. It generally occurs when you have a series of frustrating events happening at work, which – honesty world speaking – is the main reason for why you are living in such a place. You get to ask yourself, WTF am I doing here?

Then you go to a quiet corner of your mind and meditate on your reasons, thereby putting your goals and your purposes in place. You feel at peace, and hopefully realise that a) it’s only temporary, and b) it’s not a bad life, only a bad day.

Unfortunately, this moment of peace happens to me after I alienate my support group, which is annoying for me because I know I have scored bad karma points, leading me to tell myself (over and over again) to chill and relax.

That’s the reason why I told you to pack home.  Because in these moments of self-inflicted suffering, you have to be reminded of your purpose, of your direction. For me, these are pictures of my family and my boyfriend – cheesy as it may sound (better get used to it because I don’t mind being called cheesy), but I get my peace and strength from memories I have of them in my head.

Today is one of those days, and naturally I sat down in my bed, clicking through folders and folders of pictures of wonderful memories. I saw Koh Chang pictures.

Koh Chang is the second largest island of Thailand after Phuket (whodathunk Phuket was an island?! I overheard this factoid while doing a visa run and google confirmed it, ah the glory of eavesdropping) and it literally means Elephant Island as koh means island and chang means beer elephant. It is mountainous and it is a massive National Park, meaning it cannot be developed. Only 3% of the island can be developed and I think that’s why it remains so gorgeous.

It was my first taste of abroad, having my first valentine’s celebration with my man there too. There were so many firsts happening there in my life, like seeing elephants in a field (though sadly chained), dipping into a waterfall, falling off a tree, among others. The island was so significant for me, it feels like it’s home. Like, the type where you’d go to when you have a boo boo, and recharge there to feel safe. I’ve gone there three times this past two years, and it was always sweet. And recharging.

And recharge you do. Magic Garden is one of the best places to stay in as you feel right at home. I can lounge around in their bean bags and learn Spanish all day long. I can people watch there while lying down deep within the jungle with a bucket of gin and tonic. Another place to stay in is Little Eden, which actually lives up to its name. Rather pricey for the island, it’s clean and quiet and it offers very nice, new bungalows in the jungle. I’m proud to say there’s no TV there (my sort of place unless there’s a UFC fight), like Magic Garden. Oh and they make awesome food there. It may be funky sometimes (I give up expecting perfection when it comes to “Western” food in TH) but it’s always fresh and tasty. Case in point: I crave Magic Garden’s tofu burger like a pregnant woman sometimes. It’s that good. Oh the relish of that thing.

White Sands Beach is the liveliest part of that island but I’m glad to say that it’s nowhere near as hedonistic to the party scene in Samui. It still has a nice laid-back vibe but I fear that it will go soon because Koh Chang is getting famous!

There are so many places in Thailand catering to tourists but none of them has got the real charm of Koh Chang, which is rustic and charming at best. It can be really cheap to stay in too, but I guess the best part of it is the authenticity it emanates. You know Thailand, most touristy places are manufactured: Koh San road, floating markets, Elephant Camps, the whole bohemian vibe of Chiang Mai, etc, to lure tourists in. Expats like me get disappointed in turn.

Koh Chang is different because you feel like a local. No one hassles you to buy things, no one gives a fuck about who you are, and most importantly, the international-local population there is almost equal (like Samui) – hence perhaps the local feel. Oh and speaking of Samui, it kinda feels like a secret as most people go to Samui or Phuket when they go to Thailand.

One day, I’d like to go back there with my man. I don’t think I can go back there alone (the feels), but tonight, let’s. Even if it’s just in pictures.

How Being in A Long Distance Relationship Makes You A Better Person

“How does that work?” people ask when they learn that I’m in a long distance relationship (LDR).

“Aren’t you worried?” “He’s probably keeping something from you!”

Man, tell you what. It’s annoying to answer these questions again and again like a broken record, even if I love talking about my man and that I constantly gush about him. These deeply probing questions always pop up in conversations with people – strangers mostly – that I want to set the records straight once and for all.

Although pop culture states that LDR is doomed to end, science actually proves it wrong in many studies. Boo-yah!

I am proud of us, me and Ash. We have weathered through a lot of shit to get to where we are now. Although still nowhere near each other geographically (we are working on that, that’s why you can see me posting about Schengen Visa stuff – that’s me making moves to be there with him in EU), we have experienced a lot of highs versus lows. We know more of each other, and I think we are more intimate and closer to each other compared to those who have Geographically Close Relationships (GCRs).

Although yes, I miss him a lot. Waaaaay lot, you can’t even imagine how much I miss him even if we talk for five hours each day. It’s the little things I miss most, seeing him chill to his podcast while Facebooking early in the morning; or cuddling him before we sleep, or watching him lift weights in the gym, or having that special scent about the house when we have been living together, but still I am grateful that we (he) choose to spend our precious time with each other. Our conversations run from serious, scientific, emotional, scary stuff to plain silly and fun. We laugh a lot and we play sometimes. We share our days, our ideas, our plans and most importantly we dream together and kick ass together. We make things together even when we are apart. We’d have dates. We’d celebrate birthdays, graduations, moves and acquisitions. Anything and everything we can celebrate, we do.

Maybe that’s why it works, because we celebrate all things, big and small. We try harder because there is a time and space that we have to compensate for. I can’t touch him to make him feel how much I love him. I can’t look into his eyes the way I’m supposed to because he’s made up of pixels now. I can’t squeeze his hand to show support. I can’t cook for him to show my appreciation for him being his awesome self. So I try to show him how much he means to me every single chance I get, be it with texts, gifts, pictures, sound clips, even thumb kisses and shared games and Pinterest boards. And I think that how love is supposed to be in the first place.

We communicate a lot because of that. I don’t think our relationship would survive without FaceTime and iMessage though. Digital technology works like a dream and because of that, I need internet and wifi altogether. Seriously, I’d get panic attacks when internet isn’t available for us to use, especially during the early stages of the relationship. But because we only communicate digitally, and sometimes he is busy, we talk less but with more meaning. Communication is optimum because we feel like we don’t have enough time. There is no boring stuff to talk about as well because I just have to know everything. Seriously, we bond about how I pray, or how long he walked in the mountains for (3.4 km), so what normally gets to be overlooked in a GCR relationship gets more love in our team. And when we reunite, it’s always better. We understand each other and give each other their needs.

We don’t play games and we are honest to lessen miscommunication. Miscommunication while apart is evil and toxic. It hurts even if that was an honest mistake. We always try to avoid making each other feel bad. So we talk about intimate things that would make you vulnerable: what hurts you and why? Why did I make you feel like that? What can I do against that?

Being apart also makes it more romantic because we always look forward to the day we meet again, which, honestly, is a day we don’t know when. It gets easy when you put a date on it, but the possibility of having to meet earlier than that date, of making surprise visits make it exciting. Because of that, we flirt and court like young teenagers raging to see each other because the longing for each other is so intense that it fuels our desire and passion in the relationship. You miss out on the mundane and focus on the things that matter, things that, er, liven up the imagination because  and it makes things hot as well.

It’s like this: you’re alone but you’re never lonely. I can always feel his presence. I think about him all the time. People think when you’re apart from your partner you go ahead and look for someone else. This doesn’t happen, and it doesn’t even enter my mind. Primarily because of values instilled in me like loyalty and discipline, and of course, I’m in love and this is the most important factor because it doesn’t become a chore then. I’m pretty sure he is in love too, and we are both committed to each other. See there are thousands of choices out there: I can opt to hang out with my friends, stealing our precious “us” time. I can always spend my money on traveling to other places like Bali or Vietnam, stealing our precious funds kept to see each other. I can always choose to ignore him, to delete him from my Facebook, my contacts list. Same with him, he can always look for another woman and ignore me for the rest of time. But no we are with each other and I choose him because he makes me happy, I love him. Even if we have argument, we don’t let go because, well, we are committed and passionate and in love and we understand that all relationships have ups and downs. Obviously, distance breeds trust. We don’t have a choice on that almost, I mean, I can’t see how or who he is interacting with outside our phone calls, I can’t check his phone for mysterious messages, even his Facebook activities late at night when I sleep, I can’t pry in (though obviously I won’t do this because of just privacy issues – I was bred with thorough values). It’s a leap of faith. Believe it or not, it’s positive trust that wins over. Sorry, naysayers!

For everything else, being in a long distance relationship surely made me emotionally mature. I am a late bloomer in this relationship thing having my first boyfriend when I was 24, and this is that relationship. I have gone from being a jealous bitch, a paranoid girlfriend, an evil genius attention seeker, a scared little girl to hopefully, a strong, smart and independent woman who is devoted to her wonderful boyfriend.

Overall, I think, the best thing about us is that we don’t choose loneliness because we throw ourselves to hobbies that would enrich us and make us better for each other (like me blogging now lol) and it makes us more confident, stronger and happier people, making us better partners because we radiate that strength and bounce it off each other, not drag each other with it. That way, we know we choose to be with each other even if we know we are fully capable of being independent. It’s a nice feeling to have when you’re chosen. At least I know I am special and worth sacrificing for in someone else’s life. And I want that man to be happy.

Reasons Why I Love Thailand

One morning, I woke up up with a longing for Thailand. I don’t know why, but instead of getting homesick for the Philippines, I miss Thailand more.

I know Thailand has become a cliche for so many travelers, that if you are a “cool” one (read: hipster), you avoid it. True enough, Thailand is a magnet for backpackers and retirees. However, I had so many experiences in Thailand that has shaped me to who I am now. I have taken so much in terms of knowledge, and frankly, I think I have grown more in my nine months in that country compared to my sheltered twenty five years in my home country.

Why Thailand? It’s beautiful. Not physically, because it looks like the Philippines and they both look familiar, but the infrastructure: roads, internet (oh, internet), 7/11s, transportation, food – it’s really easy to live there. The culture? They don’t care about you, in fact, they turn their back to you when they know you can’t speak Thai. I thought that was rude at first but I adjusted to that. It’s soooo different to the Philippines where everyone would bend over for you to tend to your needs. I also find Buddhism refreshing at first because they weren’t as judgmental as Catholics. Oh and all the gold is pretty, even if your mind is telling you how outrageous it is to spend precious metal over monuments.

In Thailand, I learned how to live alone in a room without a fire exit thereby having me planning a fire escape route, with a landlady named Porn calling me at 6am to wake me up, and by 4 pm leave a bag of fruits on my door. I have buy food from the street (tricky for a vegetarian – so I learned a bit of Thai), open a bank account without actually speaking, move houses alone in a foreign country because the school didn’t help, travel locally in a different language (without interpreters at that – yay!).

I learned to live with my partner which was a welcome change from living alone but still a change nonetheless. I learned how to keep house (I need to improve on that) and with that I learned that small spaces are not easy to maintain because you tend to think, nah, it’s only small, easy to clean this – and never get around to doing it. I learned how to carry a microwave at the back of a motorbike because taxis didn’t exist in Hatyai and the tuktuks cost a lot for a 3 block drive. I learned to pack my life in two backpacks and needed to let go of unnecessary baggage, especially when you are traveling for a month in two countries. I learned how to move with a pack of visa runners, how fear of Thai immigration can bond a motley crew of foreigners begging their host country for a few more months to stay before the visa, and how quickly those bonds disintregrate when you get hold of your visa.

In Thailand I learned how to be patient, open and understanding. I had to be independent in more ways than I can imagine. I had to be dependent on my boyfriend when I thought I can do it alone. I appreciate living alone but enjoyed it with my partner. However, I know that I can’t live with anyone now, except him.

I have learned how my body works, especially with the lax Thai pharmaceutical laws. I didn’t have a medical insurance there but drugs and medicine were cheap and ubiquitous. I had WebMd on my fingertips, and the frustrated pharmacist just wants to give me what I want to send me away. I diagnosed myself and healed myself pretty well but the hormones I took for contraception didn’t work as expected. For a country that has a very sexy stereotype, I thought contraception was an easy part of life but hell, no.

I learned how I seem to appear to people, they think I am Thai. When Ash and I are together, they stare at us because I speak better English and they think: Thai? Not Thai? WTF?! Ash and I are pretty sure that they think we are a sex worker-sex tourist couple as well as with most Thai women – Western man stereotype. I had trouble with that at first but finally managed to say “fuck it, fuck them”. I have learned to communicate via charades and body language because of the language barrier. When words can’t say what I mean, I have to act what I mean then. It was tough but I had to do it.

I have learned my boyfriend’s love language, his little quirks, how his mind works in the wee hours of the morning, when he is jetlagged, when he is happy. I learned how to expect and not expect, how to talk to him and reach out. I have learned how to distance and give space and not be bothered about it (well, not as much as before). I learned that I enjoy him and his presence a lot that words are not enough for me to clearly paint the picture to you. I learned that it’s a different ball game when you’re apart and when you’re with each other. I learned to travel with him and found it very intimate because traveling strips you down to your core and it is during those moments of magic happen as you share your discoveries.

Thailand is very special to me. I can say that it’s my mentor. It challenges me A LOT and it’s not easy, but like a best friend, it will give you a good time through bad times. So cheers, and  kop kun kaa.

14 Films For Valentine’s Day That You Can Watch With Your Man

Valentines Day is fast approaching! Oh the feels the internet is bringing to our screen: from Ways To say I Love You in Different Languages to Recipes For A Sizzling Night, all to make one day of your life romantic. Aw.

Before I met Ash, I didn’t care for it. Then he happened, then I started to get really cheesy and insanely romantic. I thought I wouldn’t be like this, but heck being in love changes you in ways you cannot imagine, and suddenly I can relate to all Pablo Neruda poems. Being in love strangely made me know myself more. I didn’t know I can give myself to a person like this. I didn’t know I can be cheesy. I didn’t know I’d change (to better myself) so much in a short period of time. I didn’t know my heart skip a beat over a person for a long term period. I knew how to be patient, generous, honest (we have this world going on), how to go with the flow.

Ash and I love movies. The cinema is part of our love story since the day we started, and naturally, we watch movies together even if we are sometimes continents apart. Because of this, we got to enjoy watching movies together by playing movies simultaneously on our respective laptops/TVs, which is cool because we don’t need to spend on the cinema! I love it when he is beside me though. You know that moment when his hand finds its way to yours when a romantic scene is cued or when you can just cuddle and lay your head on his tummy while you watch Four Brothers in a tiny hotel in Bangkok. Oh I’m all kilig na. Ano ba yan.

To pay tribute to the feeling called love, I have compiled a list of films for you and your significant other (which can be yourself too, take note) to enjoy this Saturday, near or far. Although some of which in the list are dark, they’re all proper good films and surprisingly romantic. Have fun!

1. True Romance. 1993. 8/10 (imdb). This brilliant film penned by Quentin Tarantino and directed by Tony Scott is special for me because this is the first film we watched in his house. It revolves about Clarence (a very young Christian Slater) and Alabama (also a very young Patricia Arquette) stealing cocaine from Alabama’s pimp, and they try to run away. So fun, so nostalgic, so romantic in a very Tarantino + Scott way. Think Pulp Fiction and Top Gun together.

2. Drive. 2011. 7.8/10 (imdb). Based on the book by James Sallis, Drive is one of the most enjoyable, art hous-ey films I have watched. It’s a quiet movie, but it’s very gripping. It talks about the story of the Driver (ever guapo Ryan Gosling)- a stuntman, mechanic and a getaway driver – and his very adult, complicated and tragic relationship with his neighbor. It’s all real and it’s all about the feels in this film. FEELS.

3. When Harry Met Sally. 1989. 7.6/10 (imdb). Timeless. Everyone can relate to this, hence it is full of classic scenes and lines – who can ever forget Meg Ryan’s orgasmic face in the restaurant? If this film were a person, I’d describe it as funny and down to earth. See Harry (Billy Crystal) and Sally are very good friends, and obviously attracted to each other but feared sex would ruin the relationship. Now how funny is that notion?

4. Only You. 1994. 6.5/10 (imdb) The hot Marisa Tomei plays Faith, a teacher who is convinced that her soulmate is Damon Bradley. So just before she marries her podiatrist boyfriend whom she has doubts with, she receives a call from a man named *gasp* Damon Bradley who is on the way to Rome. So she flies to Rome. Think Wedding Singer for 1995.

5. Time Traveler’s Wife. 2009. 7.1/10 (imdb) This is the mindfuck movie of the list. This appeals to the geek in me, as Eric Bana here, who is married to Rachel McAdams, has a gene that causes him to involuntarily time travel. They start of as a couple in love but things get difficult as his time travel gets more frequent, and it just shows how love can make you patient and, well, generous. It’s like a long distance relationship through time, and it has greatly helped me appreciate what we have as a couple.

6. High Fidelity. 2000. 7.6/10 (imdb) Although considered as a music/comedy, this film talks about love in a non-sappy way. Based on the book by Nick Hornby (who can go wrong with Nick Hornby?) the film is centered on Rob – a compulsive list maker, a record store owner and a music snob – who just had a breakup. The film follows him as he lists his Top Five breakups and the reasons for each all the time while weaving music, adulthood and life. Check out Jack Black in his hilarious, and I think, most genuine role before he was The Jack Black.

7. Casablanca. 1942. (imdb) This is one of the best films, hands down. Sure it’s romantic but it’s all other films at once: film noir, war film, general 40’s pulp storyline going on… it’s just fun to watch! Before I watched this (really late, I think I was 20), I thought I knew the story because it’s so popular, it’s in every must-see list. Tell you what, you’ve never seen it until you’ve seen it. It is so much more than “as time goes by”, and you just have to be kilig with Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman’s chemistry.

8. A Walk in the Clouds.1995. 6.6/10 (imdb) This story is like a fairy tale for adults. It starts with a handsome young man meeting an unmarried but preggo rich young woman in a bus. Twist is, he offers to pose as her husband to save her face (and life) from her old school father. Obviously, they fall in love and we follow their trials and tribulations in order to stay together.

9. Ten Things I Hate About You. 1999. 7.2/10 (imdb) The modern version of Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew is the movie that made me crush on Heath Ledger. Story goes like this: Cameron, the new kid in school, falls for Bianca. However, Bianca cannot date unless her older sister Kat, who’s a cold-hearted bitch, goes for a date too. So he enlists the jerk-model Patrick to a dare to date Kat. I guess you know what happens next.

10. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. 2004. 8.4/10 (imdb). One of my most favourite films ever. Watched it in the cinema alone when I was cutting classes in high school, and pretended I was 18. You know those films that inspire you to be a film director and makes you obsessed with films? This is one of those. The story is engaging and the visuals are surreal. Joel, because his ex Clementine decided to erase him from her memory, decides to do the same. However, while the process of deletion is ongoing, all the memories that he remembered makes him realise what they had going. Loss makes you realise what you have is special kinda thing, and I think everyone can relate with that. It’s touching, human and honest. And the song by Beck is fucking good.

11. Breakfast at Tiffany’s. 1961. 7.8/10 (imdb) This is another one of those films that are so popular that you think you have seen it even if you haven’t. And tell you what, you should see it if you haven’t. Hepburn’s character Holly Golightly has nothing glamorous in it as portrayed in all the memes and fashion magazines these days. She’s actually pathetic, vunerable and neurotic when she’s alone with her guard down like most of us; totally different from her public persona who happens to be fun, charming, sexy, and sophisticated. All this character observation lies on the experience of Paul Varjak, Holly’s new next door neighbor who she develops a… special bond with. This great film is based on the novel by the legendary Truman Capote with the same title.

12. 50 First Dates. 2004. 6.8/10 (imdb). I’ll never get tired of this movie! It’s funny, cute, entertaining, it’s perfect! IMDB sums it up nicely: “Henry Roth is a man afraid of commitment up until he meets the beautiful Lucy. They hit it off and Henry think he’s finally found the girl of his dreams, until he discovers she has short-term memory loss and forgets him the very next day.” So they start every day as their first date, and it goes on and on and on and on.

13. Groundhog Day. 1993. 8.1/10 (imdb). Another classic, guys. Although most people would not consider this one romantic – because what’s romantic is living the same day again and again and again – but you have to remember that Bill Murray’s character has to learn to love someone apart from himself. Andie MacDowell provides that, although Bill Murray’s first intentions were a bit… blase. It’s so funny and fantastic though, that you might wanna experience this movie again and again and again.

14. Lost in Translation. 2003. 7.8/10 (imdb) Although not considered by most as a romantic film, I think it is. Another one of my favourites, this film tackles loneliness and finding someone in the same boat. The film makes loneliness more accessible because it is set in a foreign country, and it is where people can either reinvent themselves or be vulnerable. Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson as Bob and Charlotte respectively, makes the film alive with their very subtle perfomances. Finding themselves sharing confusion and alienation in Tokyo, they form a bond that only traveling companions can have, even if they may be the most improbable pair. Now as their friendship deepens, they realise that their Japanese sojourn is going to end. Will their relationship also end? It does remind me of me and Ash when I think about it because we were these lonely people when we met each other and he had to leave Manila. Fortunately, we did not end our special friendship and we nurtured it to the point of where we are now, stronger and better. Happy days.